The pleasant atmosphere of the skating rink buzzes around him at the same time as his phone's buzz, informing him unnecessarily of a new text. The words pop up on the screen before his eyes, a miracle of technology. Gone are the handwritten letters of yesteryear, with perfumed pages.
The text might not feature Bandou's hand, but it's him all over. Warren's affectionate gazing at the old texts breaks out into a laugh at the new. What size? Ah, the box of prophylactics says --
Heh. Bandou cuts him off. Of course he would anticipate an awful joke and raise his shield!
Now, Warren raises his head. To look for loverboy, presumably at the community building where customers pay to rent the specialty footwear in lieu of bringing their own. The scene is not too crowded, yet popular enough that Warren must scan body and after body before he finds the most familiar one. He stands up, giving the friendly dog who had been waiting alongside him one last pet. Fur on his new gloves, ah, Bandou probably isn't allergic.
Look at him smile... Warren's eyesight is enhanced compared to a human's; even if Bandou is far away he can tell the young man is smiling from ear to ear with pride. His heart beats a song of excitement. It takes a moment for Warren to remember he ought to give Bandou's question an answer instead of looking at him like a lovesick puppy...
A half-size larger than yours?
No corny joke! He managed to hold back.
You look more handsome than anyone else here tonight. The ocean glow of this evening's lights suits you.
The skate-scuffed ice reflects white and blue lights all around, especially concentrated on arches above the rink. He can hear half-conversations and the shout of a fall, but all the while there is no one he wants to look at except the ruffian over there, beaming at the employee like he'd won a trophy.
Perhaps the reason it took so long for Warren to spot the "Waldo" in the crowd despite his enhanced vision, was that Bandou's decided to tidy himself up a bit. Ditched the shades and hat, put on a nicer top than a hoodie. Seems the only piece of his usual outfit that made the cut is his faux-leather jacket. Paired with a nice sweater (no not the doggie one), he's looking like he belongs in the crowd, versus standing out as someone who might mug a passer by. In truth, it's the outfit he usually wears if he needs to go on a job interview, but a date is just as important!
At Warren's first text, he's able to finally order their skates. But the second text has his smile broadening further. Certainly, he was nervous about suddenly exposing himself to the public. So reading Warren's honest compliment is as soothing as it is ego-boosting.
(*◍▽◍) lucky you~
With the kiosk employee finally delivering their rented skates, Bandou pays, then looks through the crowd to try and spot Warren in return. His effort in the challenge doesn't last long before he pulls his phone out again.
Not the doggie-Dior?? A senselessly wasted opportunity! Pearls before swine, harumph!
No, fr tho, Warren always knew Bandou cleaned up nice. Part of the pleasure in pursuing him was watching him emerge from his cocoon. The vampire's luxury of time allows Warren to anticipate how Bandou will grow more handsome into his maturing years.
The need for an upgrade to Bandou's workwear wardrobe aside, Warren is suitably impressed by his suitor. Bandou put that extra effort in. Probably spritzed cologne behind his ears.
Actually, hopefully not that last bit. Given the answer to Bandou's question. Delivered via text, but destined to receive no text in reply.
While some vampires torment their food to enhance its flavor through medieval means beyond the capability of mere mortals, Warren employs stealth of the highest skill level to jumpscare Bandou out of his skin.
Ditched the usual shades, hhm?
Out of the shadows, Warren's hands cover Bandou's eyes.
[workin' hard or hardly workin'? bro. buddy. pal. what's this special delivery sent to bandou's busy jobsite?
it's gotta be food. 100%, the unhealthiest food a guy could ask for. but...it's a little weird, isn't it? seems to be packaged in a plain cardboard box, like pizza, but the box is white. someone's sharpie'd a batman symbol on it. you gettin' deliveries from br*ce w*yne?
anyway, if a certain lucky guy's tummy is rumbling, open it.
inside lays a cornucopia of
chicken wings.
positioned carefully in the shape of a heart.
all sorts of sauced up delights, we got garlic, we got honey, we got dill pickle because wtf, why not. there's even a cup of dipping sauce if the high society eater wants to double-down to flavortown. it's (s)creamy white. gotta be bluecheese. with. with, uuuuuh, a heart-shaped drizzled of spicy buffalo on top. it sends a subtle message.]
[Bandou, who'd already started his lunch break without informing his shift manager, is slouched in an unoccupied booth towards the back of the burger shop.
"Oi, Bandou! Did you order food?" His coworker calls out, carrying the box which he'd been instructed to keep very still, because the contents were very fragile. Obviously the answer is 'no' by the confused face he pulls at the question. A confusion that continues as he stares at the odd packaging, and flips into embarrassment once the lid is lifted and its romantic(?) contents are revealed. And, of course, the randomness of this delivery had drawn a few other coworkers over. Now, he's getting teased about whomever this mystery sender is.
Telling them all to stfu doesn't do much good, and it's only after he haphazardly closes the box that it all comes together. The symbol drawn on the lid isn't meant to be the Batman logo... And unfortunately, 'I'm gonna kill him' hissed through gritted teeth doesn't help stifle the mocking he's getting.
Warren will know his gift's been delivered when he a slew of angry emoji floods his text inbox.]
[Tsk, tsk. Taking an early lunch? Such an irresponsible young man. Someone ought to take him over one knee! Surely a few smacks would teach him a lesson. Speaking of Valentine's Day activities:
Warren lowers his binoculars. Thank goodness for the burger shop's large windows! Even so, he can hardly spot Bandou, sitting all the way at the back. The view of the smirks on his fast-food fellows' faces is good enough for now. An appetizer, of sorts.
Who could it be, they wonder. A big tiddy goth GF? Close! Actually close!! Warren takes a moment to savour the glow of a prank well done. The schoolyard chanting of yesteryear never really goes away. So-and-so has a girlfriend? Deploy the taunts!
Aaaaah, good times.
Naturally, he isn't surprised when his phone blows up. Sweetheart, my angel, yes, surely Bandou is thanking him profusely for the considerate gift of a full stomach? It's only fair, after Bandou's given him that very same thing so often. And the variety! Chicken wings doused in sauces from A to Z! Goddamn Warren's a good boyfriend.]
..........
[Pfahaha.]
Silly boy.
[Smiling to himself, he taps back.]
That's a little -too- warm, darling. You wouldn't want to burn me to a crisp! Or is this your way of saying you devoured the buffalo sauce to match your blood to our spicy night ahead?
"You can blame Masaferry's enthusiasm for sewing on that," he replies dryly. The innocent crafts are expertly made, but trendy they are not. It's partially a lie anyway; Warren's souvenirs from his many travels keep the Christmas tree festive too. Gaudy, one might say. (He heard your mind think that thought, Bandou!) Isn't that what Christmas is meant to be? A time of merriment and good cheer, decorum be damned. Bring on the spiked eggnog, so says Bandou's stomach. Hopefully he will nosh on the spiced cashews or sumptuous smoked ham appetizers to keep himself on his feet.
Truthfully, Bandou's right. The vampire trio don't often make a fuss over holidays. Warren's far more excited than he's allowing himself to show. All the effort to throw garlands and real holly and a theologically-accurate angel atop the genuine once-living evergreen tree gives away his feelings nonetheless.
With Bandou's somewhat strained relationship with his family, and his lack of previous romances, Warren's most precious gift to Bandou is the simplest: a pleasant Christmas Eve memory for years to come.
That said... A cheetah cannot change its spots, thus the musical accompaniment is less Jingle Bells and more whatever the hell this is.
Honestly, Bandou prefers this odd mashup of eerie background music and sleigh bells to Bing Crosby's Christmas hits played on repeat at work. It's not as good as his chill synthwave playlist he usually puts on while gaming, but it's tolerable.
His scrutiny of the room shifts from the decor to the darkened rooms and halls that extend into the rest of Warren's home. Being so in tune to Bandou's shifts in emotion, Warren's certain to notice the bit of unease he's feeling.
"Masaferry and...the other guy," he can't recall the name but he does remember Warren mentioning that he was born to darkness. "They're cool with me being here, right?" He trusts Warren (though whether or not that's a good idea has yet to be fully shown), but he can't say the same for the companions he's only heard of in brief mentions here and there.
The question causes Warren to look away as if taking a moment to admire the soft fall of clustered snowflakes out the dramatically framed windows. The manor they share may as well be called a castle, as Warren sometimes does to amuse himself, given its size and age. One of the reasons for the yawning hallways (a favorite of horror media likely raising the hairs on Bandou's arms) is that the trio need space from each other. It will be a long time before Warren tells the tale of the days they were literally at each other's throats, and certainly not when Bandou's discomfort colors the air like cologne.
"There is nothing to fear," he returns in a reassuring tone. "Ailess is busy and Masa has vacated his wing tonight."
Funnily enough, Ailess is doing the same thing as the two lovebirds: playing video games. Those special events are limited time! He is, as they say, 'locked in'.
Not so funny is the intentional meaning of his name. 'Without love'. It's logical to be wary of the least empathetic of the three. He who had never known humanity.
More importantly, Warren is wearing nice fit tonight. Why not? Not only is it Christmas Eve but a special occasion in that it mark their first Holiday Date. He practically sparkles with savouring that, or maybe it's just the orange topaz cufflinks catching the candlelight.
"You are my precious guest. Ailess will mind his manners."
[The caress of Bandou's kiss departs and only then does Warren's quietly quivering emotions settle, like the petals of an upended rose. Vampires are classically predators but they are prey, too. Hierarchical, driven instinctively to conquer. Or be conquest.
The truth might never pass Warren's lips. It's up to Bandou to see how he submits in intimate moments, to see that Warren thinks of him as more of a crownbearer than his red king.
Thankfully the closeness of his lover's mouth fades to a lingering heat before wanting more disrupts their serenity. Warren breathes deep, inhaling Bandou's scent on his clothes and the cozy borrowed ones. The balm restrains his need for excess.
All the while his gentle combing of Bandou's youthfully springy hair gives away nothing. He can hear the smile in every word Bandou says.]
Mm, a secret weapon, is that so?
[A new tool in the arsenal for project 'relieve the gentleman of his chapeau'.]
Careful, you know I'm enough of a bastard to use it.
[oh he's well aware that Warren will take any chance afforded to him. This time, however, Bandou has the advantage of confidence on his side. There's a tinge of arrogance to his snort. Or perhaps better classified as a scheming snicker.]
It's not a secret weapon if I told you you can do it.
[though he quickly revokes that permission, clasping into Warren's wrist and forcing the lovely head pats to cease. The attention he's been paying to that sensitive spot at Warren's neck is also abandoned, all for the sake of his next smooth move.
Bandou props himself up, pinning that captured wrist against the mattress beside Warren's head. He looks down upon his lover, that rare grin of confidence shining on his face.]
[My, my. What a difference a little confidence makes in a man. Warren feigns helplessness against being manhandled. The emotional hit, that's real at least. He likes this.
Part of him already wants to spread his legs wantonly. Not yet, though, he mostly feels comfortable in a way that would have been lost completely for all time if not for Masaferry. Friendship that seems to gel into the cracks within Warren to keep him together.
His wrist is cool to the touch. There is a pulse, so glacially slow and weak it's hardly detectable in his blue veins. The idiot smiles at Bandou - at Saburouta - and adjusts himself to raise his other hand above his head as well. One wrist under him already and the other being offered alongside.]
I could hear Ailess screaming about a cloud of wretched mortal stench from miles away. Yet, this time, it is not the Mexican food. Think carefully! Then apologize with your head bowed to the Earth!
There is no one to blame but yourself for leaving me here all by my lonesome. Matching accessories may lead to a higher success rate for haunting, if you catch my drift.
[Bandou wouldn't have known it was international bat day if the damn algorithm would mind it's own business. So what if he's been searching various things about vampires and their flying rodent forms since he and Warren got on romantic terms. That's for Bandou to keep to himself and never bring up, ever.
But, then the ads keep hounding him with '20 Facts You Didn't Know About Bats' and eventually he gives in and reads it. Shit. There's no way Warren is gonna let this day pass without mentioning it. May as well beat him to the punch.
That evening, when Warren emerges from his coffin, there's a package sitting on the front stoop to his fancy abode. Think of it as the vampire hunter's version of Edible Arrangements.
There's a small note attached that just says: don't say I never get you anything.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
pettymuch
Thread Archive
Date: 2025-01-31 04:58 am (UTC)❤️
Date: 2025-02-05 04:10 pm (UTC)The pleasant atmosphere of the skating rink buzzes around him at the same time as his phone's buzz, informing him unnecessarily of a new text. The words pop up on the screen before his eyes, a miracle of technology. Gone are the handwritten letters of yesteryear, with perfumed pages.
The text might not feature Bandou's hand, but it's him all over. Warren's affectionate gazing at the old texts breaks out into a laugh at the new. What size? Ah, the box of prophylactics says --
Heh. Bandou cuts him off. Of course he would anticipate an awful joke and raise his shield!
Now, Warren raises his head. To look for loverboy, presumably at the community building where customers pay to rent the specialty footwear in lieu of bringing their own. The scene is not too crowded, yet popular enough that Warren must scan body and after body before he finds the most familiar one. He stands up, giving the friendly dog who had been waiting alongside him one last pet. Fur on his new gloves, ah, Bandou probably isn't allergic.
Look at him smile... Warren's eyesight is enhanced compared to a human's; even if Bandou is far away he can tell the young man is smiling from ear to ear with pride. His heart beats a song of excitement. It takes a moment for Warren to remember he ought to give Bandou's question an answer instead of looking at him like a lovesick puppy...
A half-size larger than yours?
No corny joke! He managed to hold back.
You look more handsome than anyone else here tonight. The ocean glow of this evening's lights suits you.
The skate-scuffed ice reflects white and blue lights all around, especially concentrated on arches above the rink. He can hear half-conversations and the shout of a fall, but all the while there is no one he wants to look at except the ruffian over there, beaming at the employee like he'd won a trophy.
(no subject)
Date: 2025-02-05 09:43 pm (UTC)At Warren's first text, he's able to finally order their skates. But the second text has his smile broadening further. Certainly, he was nervous about suddenly exposing himself to the public. So reading Warren's honest compliment is as soothing as it is ego-boosting.
(*◍▽◍) lucky you~
With the kiosk employee finally delivering their rented skates, Bandou pays, then looks through the crowd to try and spot Warren in return. His effort in the challenge doesn't last long before he pulls his phone out again.
where are you lurking??
(no subject)
Date: 2025-02-08 01:57 am (UTC)No, fr tho, Warren always knew Bandou cleaned up nice. Part of the pleasure in pursuing him was watching him emerge from his cocoon. The vampire's luxury of time allows Warren to anticipate how Bandou will grow more handsome into his maturing years.
The need for an upgrade to Bandou's workwear wardrobe aside, Warren is suitably impressed by his suitor. Bandou put that extra effort in. Probably spritzed cologne behind his ears.
Actually, hopefully not that last bit. Given the answer to Bandou's question. Delivered via text, but destined to receive no text in reply.
While some vampires torment their food to enhance its flavor through medieval means beyond the capability of mere mortals, Warren employs stealth of the highest skill level to jumpscare Bandou out of his skin.
Ditched the usual shades, hhm?
Out of the shadows, Warren's hands cover Bandou's eyes.
"Guess who," whispers the night.
(no subject)
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From:pre-valentine's shenanigans
Date: 2025-02-13 04:09 pm (UTC)it's gotta be food. 100%, the unhealthiest food a guy could ask for. but...it's a little weird, isn't it? seems to be packaged in a plain cardboard box, like pizza, but the box is white. someone's sharpie'd a batman symbol on it. you gettin' deliveries from br*ce w*yne?
anyway, if a certain lucky guy's tummy is rumbling, open it.
inside lays a cornucopia of
chicken wings.
positioned carefully in the shape of a heart.
all sorts of sauced up delights, we got garlic, we got honey, we got dill pickle because wtf, why not. there's even a cup of dipping sauce if the high society eater wants to double-down to flavortown. it's (s)creamy white. gotta be bluecheese. with. with, uuuuuh, a heart-shaped drizzled of spicy buffalo on top. it sends a subtle message.]
omg
Date: 2025-02-13 10:19 pm (UTC)"Oi, Bandou! Did you order food?" His coworker calls out, carrying the box which he'd been instructed to keep very still, because the contents were very fragile. Obviously the answer is 'no' by the confused face he pulls at the question. A confusion that continues as he stares at the odd packaging, and flips into embarrassment once the lid is lifted and its romantic(?) contents are revealed. And, of course, the randomness of this delivery had drawn a few other coworkers over. Now, he's getting teased about whomever this mystery sender is.
Telling them all to stfu doesn't do much good, and it's only after he haphazardly closes the box that it all comes together. The symbol drawn on the lid isn't meant to be the Batman logo... And unfortunately, 'I'm gonna kill him' hissed through gritted teeth doesn't help stifle the mocking he's getting.
Warren will know his gift's been delivered when he a slew of angry emoji floods his text inbox.]
🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
🔥🔥🔥🦇🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
[Just envision him with his phone out, frantically tapping the flame emoji like he's playing some addictive clicker game.]
huehuehue
Date: 2025-02-13 10:52 pm (UTC)Warren lowers his binoculars. Thank goodness for the burger shop's large windows! Even so, he can hardly spot Bandou, sitting all the way at the back. The view of the smirks on his fast-food fellows' faces is good enough for now. An appetizer, of sorts.
Who could it be, they wonder. A big tiddy goth GF? Close! Actually close!! Warren takes a moment to savour the glow of a prank well done. The schoolyard chanting of yesteryear never really goes away. So-and-so has a girlfriend? Deploy the taunts!
Aaaaah, good times.
Naturally, he isn't surprised when his phone blows up. Sweetheart, my angel, yes, surely Bandou is thanking him profusely for the considerate gift of a full stomach? It's only fair, after Bandou's given him that very same thing so often. And the variety! Chicken wings doused in sauces from A to Z! Goddamn Warren's a good boyfriend.]
..........
[Pfahaha.]
Silly boy.
[Smiling to himself, he taps back.]
That's a little -too- warm, darling. You wouldn't want to burn me to a crisp! Or is this your way of saying you devoured the buffalo sauce to match your blood to our spicy night ahead?
(no subject)
From:u r hecking adorable
From:look at the amount of snow work & school closed for: http://photos.app.goo.gl/R36poGPKdWtMwAke8
From:puny! paltry! i eat that snowfall for breakfast
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From:asjdfh LOVE MOBILE i'm crying
From:If the bus is a rockin'...
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From:⛄ · 🎁 · 🎅
Date: 2025-03-05 07:22 am (UTC)"You can blame Masaferry's enthusiasm for sewing on that," he replies dryly. The innocent crafts are expertly made, but trendy they are not. It's partially a lie anyway; Warren's souvenirs from his many travels keep the Christmas tree festive too. Gaudy, one might say. (He heard your mind think that thought, Bandou!) Isn't that what Christmas is meant to be? A time of merriment and good cheer, decorum be damned. Bring on the spiked eggnog, so says Bandou's stomach. Hopefully he will nosh on the spiced cashews or sumptuous smoked ham appetizers to keep himself on his feet.
Truthfully, Bandou's right. The vampire trio don't often make a fuss over holidays. Warren's far more excited than he's allowing himself to show. All the effort to throw garlands and real holly and a theologically-accurate angel atop the genuine once-living evergreen tree gives away his feelings nonetheless.
With Bandou's somewhat strained relationship with his family, and his lack of previous romances, Warren's most precious gift to Bandou is the simplest: a pleasant Christmas Eve memory for years to come.
That said... A cheetah cannot change its spots, thus the musical accompaniment is less Jingle Bells and more whatever the hell this is.
(no subject)
Date: 2025-03-14 05:21 am (UTC)His scrutiny of the room shifts from the decor to the darkened rooms and halls that extend into the rest of Warren's home. Being so in tune to Bandou's shifts in emotion, Warren's certain to notice the bit of unease he's feeling.
"Masaferry and...the other guy," he can't recall the name but he does remember Warren mentioning that he was born to darkness. "They're cool with me being here, right?" He trusts Warren (though whether or not that's a good idea has yet to be fully shown), but he can't say the same for the companions he's only heard of in brief mentions here and there.
(no subject)
Date: 2025-03-17 12:50 am (UTC)"There is nothing to fear," he returns in a reassuring tone. "Ailess is busy and Masa has vacated his wing tonight."
Funnily enough, Ailess is doing the same thing as the two lovebirds: playing video games. Those special events are limited time! He is, as they say, 'locked in'.
Not so funny is the intentional meaning of his name. 'Without love'. It's logical to be wary of the least empathetic of the three. He who had never known humanity.
More importantly, Warren is wearing nice fit tonight. Why not? Not only is it Christmas Eve but a special occasion in that it mark their first Holiday Date. He practically sparkles with savouring that, or maybe it's just the orange topaz cufflinks catching the candlelight.
"You are my precious guest. Ailess will mind his manners."
(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:💤
Date: 2025-03-05 08:19 am (UTC)[The caress of Bandou's kiss departs and only then does Warren's quietly quivering emotions settle, like the petals of an upended rose. Vampires are classically predators but they are prey, too. Hierarchical, driven instinctively to conquer. Or be conquest.
The truth might never pass Warren's lips. It's up to Bandou to see how he submits in intimate moments, to see that Warren thinks of him as more of a crownbearer than his red king.
Thankfully the closeness of his lover's mouth fades to a lingering heat before wanting more disrupts their serenity. Warren breathes deep, inhaling Bandou's scent on his clothes and the cozy borrowed ones. The balm restrains his need for excess.
All the while his gentle combing of Bandou's youthfully springy hair gives away nothing. He can hear the smile in every word Bandou says.]
Mm, a secret weapon, is that so?
[A new tool in the arsenal for project 'relieve the gentleman of his chapeau'.]
Careful, you know I'm enough of a bastard to use it.
(no subject)
Date: 2025-03-13 05:56 am (UTC)It's not a secret weapon if I told you you can do it.
[though he quickly revokes that permission, clasping into Warren's wrist and forcing the lovely head pats to cease. The attention he's been paying to that sensitive spot at Warren's neck is also abandoned, all for the sake of his next smooth move.
Bandou props himself up, pinning that captured wrist against the mattress beside Warren's head.
He looks down upon his lover, that rare grin of confidence shining on his face.]
Idiot.
(no subject)
Date: 2025-03-25 01:58 am (UTC)Part of him already wants to spread his legs wantonly. Not yet, though, he mostly feels comfortable in a way that would have been lost completely for all time if not for Masaferry. Friendship that seems to gel into the cracks within Warren to keep him together.
His wrist is cool to the touch. There is a pulse, so glacially slow and weak it's hardly detectable in his blue veins. The idiot smiles at Bandou - at Saburouta - and adjusts himself to raise his other hand above his head as well. One wrist under him already and the other being offered alongside.]
Telling you to do it makes it no less a weapon.
['killing me softly']
(no subject)
From:TFLN
Date: 2025-03-09 04:38 pm (UTC)2. imagine if your dad was a minotaur and your mom was a mermaid but you got the human half of both so you're just some random guy
3. new self-care routine: talk to yourself the way i talk to my bats: "hi sweet girl, you're so chubby and cute. need a nap? treat?"
4. i will find you in every lifetime (threatening)
5. humanity is fucked - stg i can taste the microplastics in u
6.
2
Date: 2025-03-10 01:10 am (UTC)(no subject)
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From:4
Date: 2025-05-15 02:37 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2025-05-15 02:46 am (UTC)(no subject)
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From:Total beauty and the beast meets the haunted relics room from the conjuring
From:makes bandou wear the yellow dress
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From:TFLN 2: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO
Date: 2025-04-01 01:41 am (UTC)2. pie chart of my mind be like 50% naked you, 50% you reading me a bedtime story
3. should i buy the pink ouija board? it matches your dildo
4. bdsm except i'm plucking you for bikini season
why? why am I picking 3??
Date: 2025-04-01 02:14 am (UTC)AND STOP GOING THROUGH MY DRESSER DRAWERS!!
we love 1 flailing boi <3
Date: 2025-04-01 02:22 am (UTC)Let's be real. He'll flail at anything at least once
From:a real trooper
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Date: 2025-05-14 03:55 am (UTC)me playing 'spot the difference' post edit
Date: 2025-05-14 04:04 am (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2025-04-17 10:30 pm (UTC)Stardew Valley AU warren with bats, bandou with tattoos feedin' chickoos
🦇
Date: 2025-04-30 07:44 am (UTC)But, then the ads keep hounding him with '20 Facts You Didn't Know About Bats' and eventually he gives in and reads it. Shit. There's no way Warren is gonna let this day pass without mentioning it. May as well beat him to the punch.
That evening, when Warren emerges from his coffin, there's a package sitting on the front stoop to his fancy abode. Think of it as the vampire hunter's version of Edible Arrangements.
There's a small note attached that just says: don't say I never get you anything.]
🔪🧄
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