@badlucklady

[pettymuch]

A lovely little place for Warren and Bandou to chill.

(And by chill I mean: Bandou flailing like an idiot and Warren being highly entertained!)

Comments

🔪🧄

[badlucklady]

[The algorithm knows all, sees all...but can it see why Warren is wearing fuzzy sheepskin slippers when he opens the intimidating, unwelcoming ancient sequoia door? And frowns in confusion?

Head tilted at a 45 degree angle like a dog trying to understand a fish on a bicycle, Warren stares at the... at the attempt on his life? At a very early Halloween prank, or late April Fools'? Dressed in a matching brown robe, eyes slightly bleary from newly waking and wondering if he is, in fact, still asleep, Warren eventually picks up the, uh, bouquet.

Of garlic.]

Don't say...

[He reads the note to himself aloud. Thank goodness Ailess or Masaferry hadn't seen this. He would never live down the teasing! Gracious.

Padding back inside on soft footsteps, Warren mulls over what to do with this generous gift. Explain that garlic was an Old World remedy against vampires because anemia shares similar symptoms to having one's blood's drained and the allium family is a reasonable helper for peasant farmers to obtain? Pah, where's the fun in that.

Well, perhaps this is a game for two, hmm?

After a time, Warren sends some homemade, thoughtfully prepared cooking back via a delivery and courier app to Bandou's apartment. Garlic bread, French onion (and garlic) soup, a light salad with garlic oil dressing, rosemary (and garlic) roasted chicken, white potatoes with sour cream, chives, and...you guessed it... shaved garlic slivers.

For dessert? Surely not.

Unfortunately, Warren is a trash Can, not a trash Can't.

Dessert is vanilla, honey, and garlic ice cream.]

[pettymuch]

[By this point, Bandou's learned a fair amount of REAL vampire trivia, vs what he'd presumed about the creatures, with only film and folklore as references. The garlic theory was tossed out the first time Warren took him on a little trip to the local grocers. Perhaps the gift was a throwback to that time when their relationship was just barely consensual, from Bandou's pov.

What he'd also learned that day was that Warren's a pretty damn good cook. Boy does the man like to pamper him with food. From romantic chicken wings to birthday cake with flattering words decorating the top. And now this. It's only fair considering the amount of times Bandou's "treated" Warren to "dinner".]

guess ill be off your menu for awhile

[Along with the text comes a selfie of him enjoying the ice cream, of all things!]

[badlucklady]

[There may not be a daily stream containing words of praise for Bandou to revel in like a dog rolling in fresh cut grass, but Warren is consistent in lavishing his lover with affection in ways both nutritious and delicious. He may have the soul of a fussing baboushka, or the time living in Italy influenced a near-literal understanding of food-means-family.

More importantly, he has not heard a word of serious complaint. Who knows what the next decadence will be? East Coast Lobster? Time will tell.

Feeding him may indeed be tit for tat, but Warren surely benefits from keeping his meal ticket healthy. At the moment, after all that work plucking a chicken and digging potatoes straight from the dirt (or Uber, whatever) Warren is doing a little self-care. He deserves it.]

A few days, yes.

[Listen, regardless of whether or not garlic would make him hiss, it's a taste that really monopolizes blood. He prefers Bandou to taste like Bandou. Hhm, idea for a new Pringles flavor.]

Look at you eating dessert first. Worried it will melt?

[pettymuch]

[A new Pringles flavor? Perhaps. Except Warren already broke the cardinal rule of the infamous canned chips: He popped, but he also stopped. ]

i dont usually get ice cream cause its too sweet
so this ones kinda nice

[The spoon is definitely dangling from his mouth as he pauses to tap at his phone screen.]

happy batty day ❤️🦇